This is Us
The NBC series “This Is Us” is, if you don’t already know it, an emotional roller coaster through the intricate web of family dynamics interlaced with individual struggles folded into social relationships, societal expectations, inward conversations with the self, regret, failure, and in the end, redemption and growth. We just started watching it, so we had some catching up to do, and decided to binge watch the series over the course of a week. I don’t recommend this, because doing that way ended up being pretty emotionally intense. There is a little bit of those characters in each of us, and although I can’t say with 100% certainty that you will cry when you watch it, I have a pretty good feeling that you will. At least once.
The characters are dealing with the emotional gaps that exist in some fashion inside each one of us. Those that we attempt to fill with something other than what is truly needed to fill them. The themes range from struggling to be a successful provider to delayed dreams. The pain of not fitting in that leads to that empty space in the soul needing to be filled, or that dark place that holds our pain. This pain is so harsh that we cannot look at it. We choose rather to bury it with something else.
Our Stuff
On the show, these dark spaces and the pain they hold are filled with or numbed by alcohol, running away, food, perfectionism at work, and a driving need for external validation. In our line of work, we see those spaces filled by stuff, from shopping (retail therapy), which can become an obsession with collecting, or in the most serious cases, hoarding. In all of these scenarios, to some degree or another, we experience the deleterious effects of trying to manage pain with something other than facing it, admitting you have it, allowing yourself to experience it, process it, and release it so that actual healing can take place.
How We Cope
There are many ways that we as humans utilize to manage those emotions we’d rather not deal with until “later.” The problem with that is later usually shows up when you are not prepared for it, and can cause a whole lot of upheaval in your life, usually at the most inopportune time. Some drink, some do drugs, some work non-stop. Others need to be in control of everything. Some are angry and blame others, and some find their solace in stuff. It’s a protective measure! And the heavier the trauma or pain, the more steeped in the behavior we are.
Learning to Let Go
There comes a time, though, when we just can’t do it anymore. We lose what’s important like our family or friends or finances. And we’ve solved nothing. We exhaust our resources, and more importantly, our life energy, denying or running away from hurtful experiences and memories, when the best thing we can do is acknowledge them and the gut wrenching emotions that go with them.
It is not a weak person who cries but a courageous one. It is only when we have processed the pain that we can let go of it, and then we can let go of whatever damaging behavior we’ve chosen to suppress it, like accumulating and holding onto an over-abundance of stuff along with the clutter and disorganization it can cause (which in and of itself can become an addictive behavior). The thrill of a new purchase is short-lived, especially if it adds financial stress to the picture.
ClutterTroops is Here to Support You!
We deal with these situations daily, to one degree or another. It is our job to help folks who are stuck in a cluttered environment or an overwhelming personal situation. These situations have them surrounded by too much stuff to the point of impacting their life in a negative way. It is extremely difficult to try to manage these moments and the decisions that come with them all by yourself. The benefit we provide is a neutral third party perspective. This provides helping hands. Not only will we get you uncluttered and organized, but we will help you implement systems and routines. That will help keep you that way as well as help you make better decisions in the future.
Take a moment to reflect on what your tendency is when you are feeling less than good. What do you run to first? Maybe having a good cry, venting to a friend, or going for a brisk walk might be a better choice. If you believe, however, that you are stuck in a more serious pattern, are experiencing depression, anxiety, financial stress, or any addiction, reach out for help. As the saying goes, “No man is an island.” We need each other, and we all need help at some point during our lives. If clutter, disorganization, an unmanageable schedule, or just too much stuff is what’s bogging you down, reach out to us, because helping you….that is US.